Loss and Grief


If you’ve lost something from your life then it’s important you give yourself time to come to terms with your loss and to grieve.

And that's true whether the loss is a beloved pet, the loss of a relationship or of course the loss of a friend or loved one. Perhaps you’ve had to move to live somewhere new and feel the loss of leaving your old life behind, or have had to give up something you loved doing?

A few years ago I was forced to give up scuba diving, something I enjoyed doing and was a big part of my life for over 20 years. I needed time to accept my loss and yes, grieve for what I was no longer able to do. Even as a therapist it took me a while to realise I needed to allow myself time to follow the grieving process I so often remind my clients of. I couldn’t rush it.

Whatever your loss, if you need help coming to terms with it I can help.

The different Stages of Grief

You may have heard of the idea there are different stages of grief. One model that helps us understand our loss is the Kubler-Ross model which originally identified 5 stages, since updated to 7 stages. In some ways I don't like the idea of a model for grief, as how we come to terms with a loss is different for everyone, but they can help us understand what we're going through and also realise where we might be getting stuck and need some help.

The Kubler-Ross stages are: Shock, Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Guilt, Depression/Sorrow, Acceptance

It’s important to know these stages don’t necessarily come one after the after, in a linear fashion, and we can find ourselves cycling back and forth. Sometimes if we have known in advance we will lose someone or something we may have experienced some of the stages ahead of the actual loss. I find this model useful in understanding how we’re feeling as we progress through our grief.

This is just one of the models we can use to help us understand what we’re going through. Models like this one can also to help us realise when perhaps we’ve got stuck in one of the stages and may benefit from some help to allow us to move forward a little.

How I can Help You

Coming to terms with a loss takes time and when I help clients with loss the purpose is not to enable them to rush through the process of grief. Rather I can help if you feel you’ve got stuck and need some help to move gently forward again.

I can help you express you emotions appropriately, perhaps you’re angry or you’re numb and having difficulty finding any emotion at all. If so I can help you.

When you feel ready, please do get in touch.

Looking for a Grief Counsellor?

If you have lost someone and have come across my page whilst searching for a grief counsellor then I would recommend exploring the organisation Cruise. Cruise offers helplines, on line chat, individual and group support to those who have lost someone.